Who said that insurance isn't a laughing matter?
Well, we understand if you think it is. Life insurance deals with death, after all, and it can be pretty morbid to think about. But here at Insurdinary, we work to make insurance the most pleasurable process possible.
We usually do this by letting you know about the best options for insurance providers. But today, we're going to do something a little different. Today, we're going to make you laugh because we've assembled a collection of the most hilarious insurance jokes that have ever graced our world.
Strap in, grab some popcorn and a drink and stretch out your funny bone because we're about to hit you with the best jokes about insurance and funny insurance oneliners of all time.
An insurance agent decides he needs some time off and goes to visit a museum. While there, he receives a call from one of his clients, which distracts him. Due to this distraction, he accidentally knocks over a statue, which falls to the ground and shatters.
The guards all look around each other, not knowing what to do; none of them wants to be the one to admit to their boss that they let this happen. Suddenly, the museum curator comes running through, a horrified look on his face. He runs right up to the insurance provider and says:
"My God, you've just broken a six hundred-year-old statue!"
The insurance provider looks up at him and says:
"Thank god, I thought it was a new one".
This is a wonderful joke because it demonstrates the different values insurance providers have than people in other walks of life. While in this situation, that contrast is humorous, you're going to want an insurance provider who thinks like this in real life.
Get yourself someone who can look at a situation, and immediately know how much the damage is going to cost.
Q: What do hospital gowns and insurance policies have in common?
A: You’re usually not as covered as you think you are.
This joke provides an insight into the harsh reality of a lot of insurance policies. The fact of the matter is, there are some bad policies out there. In fact, consumers generally don't trust insurance companies.
Just like hospital gowns, most people aren't covered as much as they think they are. They live with a false sense of security knowing that they have insurance, not realizing that when push comes to shove, they're not getting the coverage they deserve and or are paying for.
That's why we, at Insurdinary, do all of the heavy lifting to find you great insurance companies that will keep you covered. Don't wind up with your whole body showing to the world.
More Bad Insurance
The boss of a Life Insurance company storms down the hallway, fed up with the antics of one of his employees. He's talked to this employee many times and there's always some sort of issue.
He bursts into the room and finds the insurance agent smiling to himself. Surely he doesn't even know what he did wrong this time, evidenced by the fact that he looks straight as his boss and says "Hello sir! How are you today?" in a cheery voice.
“What is wrong with you?!" the boss fires back, "I can handle you eating my lunch, I can deal with all of the policies you've flubbed over the years but how—in God's name, how!—how can you issue a life insurance policy to a man who is one hundred and twelve years old ?”
"Uhm, but, sir", the agent shifting his papers around "I, uhm, I applied all the statistical tests. I was stringent, proper, specific.
I did my research, there shouldn't be an issue. Um, I had evidence. Oh, there it is: according to my research, not a single 112-year-old man has died in the last five years."
Once again, this is a great—if exaggerated—example of what can happen if you find yourself working with a bad insurance company. The company might completely do things by the numbers, and you can be out of an insurance plan because they gave theirs away to a 112-year-old man.
A Similar Theme
Two actuaries are out hunting for quail when they see one burst into flight through the air. When they see it fly, they both take their shots.
The first insurance agent fires twenty feet to the right, travelling half a mile and knocking off the hat of a local farmer as he milks his cows. The second insurance agent fires twenty feet to the left, coming down to pop the balloon of a child who's celebrating his birthday. They both high five, because, on average, they shot the quail.
This is yet another silly joke to represent the often over-analytical thinking of many insurance agents. You can't apply statistics to everything; in fact, they can be very misleading. Make sure you find yourself an insurance agency that deals with you as an individual, not just as a number.
More Jokes Please
Still want more? Okay, we'll give you more.
Q: What's the similarity between a parachute and insurance?
A: If it doesn't work the first time you need it, it's useless.
Q: What kind of chocolate do insurance agents love?
A: They love premium chocolates.
Q: Why does a person who lies a lot not get insurance?
A: Because of too much lie-ability.
Q: Why was the insurance company refusing to pay after lightning struck the church?
A: Because they said it was an act of God, therefore, deliberate destruction by the owner.
Q: What insurance company is spread across the entire country?
Q: My sister told me that she was skeptical about vision insurance.
A: I told her to at least look into it!
One day, my family and I went to the picnic and a black bear was spotted roaming near our car. I asked my dad if the car insurance policy covered bear attacks. He just said, "No, I have bear minimum insurance".
My insurance company insisted on treating their clients as their friends. Guess, they really believe in Allianz!
Insurance Jokes to Demonstrate Real Issues
While these insurance jokes are principally for your entertainment, it should be remembered that they reflect real issues. Many insurance agents do think over analytically and fail to cover you completely.
Thankfully, you don't need to deal with insurance agents who act as they belong in a joke. Get a quote with us today, and work with an agent who we promise you'll return to for all your insurance needs, and will most likely recommend to your friends and family too.